Mum, I have no friends! How to get hired through word of mouth when networking is hard for you.

Note: Andrew has approved this post.

My son, Andrew, used to come home from school and tell me he didn’t have any friends. It would cut me to the bone every time, the first time I nearly threw up. So, I’d do the only thing I knew to do, and go up to the school to talk to the teacher. The same thing would happen every time. We’d walk in the school and kids all over the place would say, “Hi Andrew,” “Hey Andrew!” “Andrew, check this out.” The teacher would look at me like I had a problem, and I’d look at Andrew like WTF. And we’d carry on same as before.

Now Andrew is a very grown up VFX artist and we have this ongoing conversation about building his professional social network. My husband bugs him relentlessly to work in the office sometimes, and now that he has some leadership responsibilities, he does from time to time. He likes it. I presume his management sees him, is more likely to think of him when a new opportunity comes up, and considers him a more engaged team player. He’s building relationships with them. Andrew is very personable, people like him, so it’s going to help to put this great strength on display more often. This is helpful because VFX, like many creative industries, is contract based, so you’re always looking for new work, even if it’s within the same company.

And, like in many industries, in VFX word of mouth is pretty much the only way to get new work. No matter how hiring is done, in all industries connections and relationships are important, it’s why we have LinkedIn. A connection is a warm contact, someone you kind of know. They’re important, but a relationship is more important. Relationships we build and nurture over time, in a give and take manner. Either way, this reliance on who you know can make getting new work tricky, and even harder if you’re shy, so let’s break it down into manageable chunks.

Now Andrew, as demonstrated, is a well-liked introvert, but actively engaging with people for a purpose isn’t something he’s very comfortable with. He’s been with the same company for six years, but as said, in his industry you always need to be looking for new work. Recruiters don’t have email addresses and don’t answer DMs on LinkedIn. When he does reach them, they always say, ‘check the website.’ When this happens, we have to find a different way in.

Andrew and I have an ongoing conversation about getting in front of people, and it goes something like this: I list every way I can think of to talk to people who might be hiring, he asks respectful questions, I listen carefully because it’s his industry and he knows it better than I do, and together we think of a few more ways. This is what we came up with this week. It works across industries, and for all kinds of personalities. 

·      Go to the barbeques, parties, pub nights, any social event. You don’t have to stay long. Just long enough to let people know you are open to new things and keen to work. Chat with people, have a nice time and go home before you’re too exhausted. It’s fun, but it’s also work for you, so it’s ok to treat it that way.

·      Talk to everyone you know and ask them about where they work and when a new show (project, contract) might be opening up.

·      Go for a drink or a walk with people you have an existing relationship with.

·      Talk to your supervisor and if they aren’t in the loop, have a casual chat with their boss. But don’t make it too formal or it might look like you’re doing an end run on your supervisor.

·      Go to open houses and trade shows. Ask questions. Give out your card. Do your best to have an open conversation. It’s ok, and probably preferable, to keep it brief. (You don’t have to be like your mother Andrew!)

·      Keep your LinkedIn/website/online profile up to date. Keep your reel up to date. Put in something surprising to get you noticed.

·      Keep learning. People like to talk to people about things they are engaged with and curious about. When you’re engaged in ongoing learning, it’s easier to ask questions, and questions are your currency here.

·      Other?

The next step is easier: you follow up. Sometime in the next few days, send a DM or an email saying something like, “It was nice chatting with you, thanks for taking the time.” And then ask for that connection, contact or other action you may or may not have mentioned in your conversation. “Who do you think I should be talking to? Could you introduce me?” Or, “How does that person like to be reached?” “You mentioned Acme Studios had a new show (project, contract) coming up, who should I talk to there? Could you help me reach them?”

So, get out there and talk to people, just for a little while. Don’t do it all the time, it’s too hard. When you go to an event or a meeting, you don’t have to stay long and you can plan something nice for yourself afterwards, like a little time alone! Wherever you are, don’t force things. Work on building a few strong relationships in various places. You don’t have to scattershot the market. Start by talking to one person, the easiest person. Then move to a few more, but still the ones you know. Maybe you add a new one. If Andrew knows one key person in three or four major studios, he’s way ahead of the game. It’s ok if it’s not that easy for you. Like Andrew, you might be better at it than you think.

If I’ve missed something, share in the comments, because for sure there are more ways to make a professional connection. In another post I’ll talk about relationship building.